if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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