Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
