Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
