Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
The air taste purple.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
