And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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