It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
