walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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