my vag is so smooth its legendary
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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