just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
