Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
