Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
