I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize