I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize