I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
