I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
People in love make me want to vomit
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
