omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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