so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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