i was born a porn star she said
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
