nut hugger
okay pat passed out under dana's car
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
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