I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize