I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
