on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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