i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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