You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
farters have to be the big spoon...
it hurts more in the daytime
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
