Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
