she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
