No awkward lesbian experiences without me
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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