we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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