Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
