that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
