I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
