I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
