so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
