I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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