Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
