I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
