The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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