You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
