The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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