I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
