her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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