Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
