Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize