Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
i think my cat just said my name.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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