And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
