I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
