You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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