When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
