Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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