Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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