i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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