When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
