is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
