Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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