why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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