did you get engaged???
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
