We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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