I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
