Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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