have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
