Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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