If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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