I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
